Why Wrong Mommy?

 

Wrong Mommy has a few meanings to me. I have been a mother in so many ways, judged, admired, belittled. Living life by other peoples’ view of you is going to be a sad pitiful existence so I chose to live my way. My role as mother has mostly been as the wrong mommy: step, foster, adopted, surrogate, mom of the group etc. When I go to doctors’ offices or schools I tend to get a confused reaction. I have tattoos, big boobs, a foul mouth. I do watch my mouth as best I can in public. Then as they speak to me, they realize I am articulate and educated. I guess I have a resting bitch face because people are often surprised by how polite and courteous I am too.

As a mother, I hold many sub titles. Rarely am I ever the right mom. I started out as a step mom to my oldest daughter Jazmyn. Never was I “mom” to her, she has always called me Courtney. Then there is foster mom. When Jazmyn and her sibling were removed from their home they were placed with me. I became foster mom to Jeremiah and Jozlynn. Still they do not and have never called me mom, except when talking to their friends and they don’t want to explain why I am not their real mom. Then after two and a half years we got to adopt. So now I hold the title adoptive mom. I am not the right mom, not the mom they want. They all would rather go back to their mom’s house. Though that is not possible. I will continue to love and cherish them. Teach them how to be productive members of society. Teach them to think for themselves. Help guide them to make good decisions. That is what I am here for. I will have to be, the wrong mommy.

I was raised to think for myself. My mother taught me to question everything especially authority. I blame her for my rebel mind set. I am grateful to my mother for giving me such a beautiful gift. I have had to get over my idea of what being a mother is. We all think that if I am mom, then I am called mom. Then the children will love me above all others. This is false. Being a mom isn’t about the gratitude you feel. Actually, it is the opposite. I’m not your friend, I’m not your slave, I am not your savior. I am your mom. This means no matter what, I will do everything in my power to make sure you grow up to be what I consider a good person. That being subjected to opinion. If mom does it for the credit she will fail.

Remember Moms, you don’t fail you press pause. You can always press play again.

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